


Self Discovery

by undermyumbreon



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alana discovers she has feelings for women too, EatTheRare, F/F, because they really should have given more development to their relationship, set during season 3 between their first meeting and the sex scene, thank you anon for giving me the idea!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-12 19:31:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7946404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undermyumbreon/pseuds/undermyumbreon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alana faces new, never before experienced emotions during her stay at the Verger mansion. She questions her feelings for Margot Verger.</p><p>This was a semi suggestion from an anon from a while back. I changed some things up, but I'm glad I got this ask just in time for the EatTheRare event!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self Discovery

     The first few nights that Alana stayed in the Verger Mansion, she would lie awake in bed for hours. It was hard to sleep in a new environment, which was exacerbated by the days' events. She had met the Verger twins and made plans with Mason Verger to track Hannibal down. He was not the most desirable human to be around. At least she could be friendly with Margot, the other Verger twin. She seemed approachable.  
     The days that followed were an eye opener for Alana. She had always been surrounded by people of high class, but the constant lavish lifestyle certainly readjusted her standards. During her days, she would spend the majority of time working with Mason to track Hannibal down. Leads were hard to come by, but news of unusual deaths in France and Italy gave a good start. Alana eventually figured a man of high taste could be tracked down by the very products he purchased while he lived in America.  
     Meanwhile, Alana was still recovering from her fall. Margot would help Alana get ready for the day, move around, and assist with small tasks, such as reaching for items on high shelves for her. Margot would also listen in on Alana’s conversations with Mason, but she was always silent unless she was asked a question or had to complete a task. She would often be the one to search around the large manor for supplies and tools for their plans. The set up felt strange to Alana. Margot would have some time to indulge in her hobbies, such as horseback riding, but she was usually waiting on them. It was odd that they didn’t have a butler to assist them, even if it was just their daily routines. Alana assumed that a third party not related to the Vergers would be detrimental in Hannibal’s capture and that was the reason why Margot was taking charge in their care. She learned otherwise within the coming weeks.  
     Every day when Margot would come into her room to help her dress, Alana couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. She dressed impeccably and was very professional. During the day, her patience with her offensive brother was astounding. Alana could barely keep herself from telling off Mason, but she knew cooperation was needed in order to get what they both wanted: Hannibal. She had seen Margot’s back covered by raised scars when Margot wore tops and dresses that revealed her skin. When asked, Margot said her brother had enjoyed testing her before he became paralyzed. Alana also noted that Margot never brought up having relationships with a friend or any of their family members besides Mason. When Alana pried, Margot explained that Mason felt it was, “Best if she were close to him as they grew older, for the business’ sake.” She confessed that she was somewhat glad her parents were no longer alive, especially her father.  
     “At least I only have one monstrosity to deal with now,” she had said under her breath. That was when Alana realized why Margot was involved in their meetings.  
     On one particular afternoon after lunch when Margot was helping clear the dishes from the table, Mason felt the need to speak up, “Smile Margot. You look prettier when you smile,” Mason drawled. Alana looked at Margot as she gave a strained smile. Alana felt disgust bubble in her stomach as Mason continued, “Ahh… there’s my beautiful sister. You’re always much prettier when you give me respect. I’ve been nothing but good to you Margot. No need to pout when I’ve given you this lifestyle. Without me, you wouldn’t have any of it-“ he abruptly stopped as he choked on his own saliva. Mason began to cough wildly for an extended period of time. Alana thought Margot would take the chance to leave, but she stood and watched him.  
     “Do you need Cordell to help you Mason?” she said, concerned barely coating her question, a smile still plastered on her face.  
     Once his coughing fit passed, he immediately turned his frustration toward Margot, “See!? You know I cannot answer questions when I am unable to breathe! You should know to help me or get help, and you did neither! You are ungrateful for what I’ve done for you. You never grew up to be useful.”  
     Alana opened her mouth to scold Mason, but she saw Margot shoot her a glace out of the corner of her eye. Margot very slightly shook her head, continuing to smile. Alana decided to remain silent. Later that day when Alana was freshening herself in the powder room, she felt her annoyance with Mason sit in her stomach. She felt sympathy for Margot’s situation. It must have been awful for Margot to grow up in such an abusive household. Margot had dealt with so much and she deserved better. Alana started to daydream as she combed her hair. She thought of going off on Mason and taking Margot away from him. Alana imagined herself hugging Margot and telling her that she was on her side. She could stroke Margot’s hair while she consoled her. Maybe she would even kiss Margot’s head too-  
     Alana snapped out of her fantasy and stopped playing with her hair. Where had that come from? She was thrown off by the sudden shift in affection that she had just played out in her head. Surely her thoughts were a mistake. She just wanted for Margot to be safe. She knew Margot was attracted to women and had seen Margot conversing with a new stables worker frequently. Alana didn’t feel that type of attraction toward women though, so she brushed it off.  
     From that point on however, every minute that wasn’t spent asleep, conjuring plans to track down Hannibal, or working physical therapy was used to muddle over the confusing mess Alana had started in her mind. Ever since she had pictured herself kissing Margot’s head, the images kept creeping back into her mind. At times, she was able to convince herself that she simply wanted to fill a void in Margot’s life. Margot had always been alone as she had told her. Alana felt she could supply her with companionship. Margot needed a friend. Alana would imagine them cuddling on a bed or a couch. She kept playing it off as desiring contact in a friendship between them. She couldn’t come up with reasons for why she would go as far as to kiss Margot’s head and cheeks though. Alana would try to stop herself from having these daydreams, but it was difficult.  
     One day while Alana was reading by the window in her room, she heard a knock on her door, “Come in!” she called, setting her bookmarker on the open page and shutting the book on it. Alana set it on her nightstand as a figure opened the door and entered. It was Margot.  
     “May I speak to you, Doctor Bloom?”  
     “Of course,” Alana said cheerfully.  
     Margot made her way over to Alana’s bed and sat down on the edge, “I’m sorry to interrupt you.”  
      “It’s no trouble at all Miss Verger,” Alana made the effort to get up from her chair and sit carefully next to Margot on her bed, “What brings you to me today?”  
     “I won’t sugarcoat it. You should know that I intend to kill Mason,” Margot said nonchalantly. Alana perked up, looking at Margot wildly, “After everything he has put me through, I deserve to take everything from him.”  
     It took a few moments for Alana to speak, “Everything?”  
     “His life. His money. This mansion. Everything.”  
     Another few moments passed, “How?”  
     “I don’t know yet. In order to get his fortune, a male Verger heir has to be born,” without Alana questioning further, Margot elaborated, “That is the only way to get anywhere in this family, but Mason already took that option away from me,” she lifted her blouse up, revealing the large scar that stretched across her lower abdomen. Alana felt her stomach flip, faint nausea arising within her.  
     “Why are you telling me this?” Alana whispered, still in shock.  
     There was a pause as Margot put her top down, “I trust you. I know you are my brother’s psychologist, but I know how you feel about him. I can see it in your face when you talk to him…” she trailed off, looking off at the wall. She sighed, “I just needed to tell someone. I don’t have any other options,” she looked back at Alana, “I felt it was more appropriate to talk to someone who would treat this more as an informal conversation then a therapy session since you’re not my psychiatrist."  
     Still in a hushed voice, Alana said, “Of course…”  
    “I also trust that you won’t stop me when I try to kill my brother because this is an informal conversation. There’s no obligation to contact law enforcement about my plans. You’ve seen how my brother really is.”  
     Alana nodded, “Yes… I certainly have.”  
     They sat in silence for several minutes. At one point, Alana looked down and saw that her fingers were very close to touching Margot’s. She wanted to hold her hand and comfort her. Another minute passed before Margot ended their conversation with, “Thank you for listening.”  
      Alana nodded again, mouthing ‘you’re welcome’ and smiling right before Margot got up and left. That night, Alana went to bed feeling unsettled. She thought about how she almost died. She thought about how much she had wanted to hurt Hannibal while she was in the hospital. She could see Margot’s point of view. All of the negative memories didn’t stop her from thinking about Margot however. She went to sleep with the image of her holding Margot’s hand in mind.  
     After that conversation, Alana noticed that touches between her and Margot lingered for a second longer than usual. They would crack jokes during tense moments and smile often at one another. They bonded over the suffering brought on by Mason’s presence and the stress of capturing Hannibal for Mason’s plans. When Alana would return from physical therapy, Margot would ask her about the sessions. Margot would continue to help Alana with daily tasks even though she was mostly independent at this time. Alana chalked it up to Margot using it as an excuse so she could avoid Mason. Alana couldn’t blame her.  
     They began to go by first name basis. The change was brought on by Margot one morning when she off-handedly didn’t use Alana’s formal title during breakfast. Alana didn’t complain. They spent more time in Alana’s room talking about the books she read during her stay. Margot would tell Alana about her plans to fix the family business and treat their animals better. Every day the vision became more vivid in detail and Alana listened intently as Margot elaborated on every little change she would make with the inheritance. She still didn’t have a way to conceive an heir though.  
     Soon after, Alana’s daydreams were reaching a point where she would get easily distracted. Her mind wandered many times during her meetings with Mason. If Margot was in the room, Alana caught herself staring at her. She would lose focus on the task at hand and could only be brought back when Mason yelled at her. Alana thought she had her fantasies under control, but it was becoming overwhelming. Her heart swelled when she thought about Margot. Her mood was lifted at every smile and greeting Margot gave her. Alana needed to say something. She couldn’t pretend that these feelings didn’t exist anymore.    

     Alana waited patiently in the horse stables. Her heart was racing and her legs ached as she stood and watched the stable workers walk by outside. She regretted her decision to surprise Margot instead of asking her to meet Alana in her room. Fortunately, she saw Margot arrive to the stables with her horse just then. When she had helped the horse back into its stall, Alana approached her, “I need to talk to you.”  
     Margot was caught off guard, “About?” she took her riding helmet off and hung it up on one of the hooks.  
     Alana sighed, looking around to ensure that they were alone, “Something that may ruin our friendship.”  
     Margot turned to her, “Will telling me cause an issue in the household?”  
     “It may.”  
     Margot’s interest seemed to peak, “What’s me to stop you from taking the risk?”  
     Alana took a deep breath and decided to explain everything all at once, “When I first met you, I must confess, I felt sympathy for your situation and had the desire to rescue you. After I got over my savior complex, I realized that I wanted to form a friendship with you. But now…” she took another breath, “My feelings for you are much more intimate then I expected them to become.”  
     “…explain.”  
     “I think… I keep thinking about you much more than I’m used to thinking about a woman. ”  
     Margot blinked, “You… have?”  
     Alana nodded, “I have been for a long time,” Margot didn’t respond, so Alana continued, “I’m having feelings for you. I’ve thought about hugging you and caring for you. I’ve thought about kissing you and taking you away from Mason.”  
     Margot took a few steps towards her, “Are you sure you’ve never felt this way before, because to me it sounds like-” a smile started to form on her lips, “You’re attracted to me.”  
     “I’m-“ Alana shook her head, “I don’t…” she looked away, “I don’t know...”  
     “Alana…” Margot’s voice sent a shiver up Alana’s spine, “I feel the same way…”  
     Alana was stunned. Her heart skipped a beat, “You- you do?”  
     Margot stepped even closer, “Yes… I’ve- also wanted to give you my affections.”  
     Alana couldn’t iterate her feelings clearly and ended up blurting out, “The stables worker-"  
     Margot chuckled, “She only wanted me for my money…” her eyes shifted downward and Alana felt her face heat up. Margot was looking at her lips.  
     “I’m sorry to hear… that-"  
     Margot met her eyes, “I’m glad you told me how you feel. I was afraid I was reading into it…”  
     “I didn’t know how I really felt…” Alana sighed, “I’ve only been with men. I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way towards a woman,” she looked wistfully at Margot, “I guess I was wrong, and I’m usually not…” a quietness covered them before Alana spoke again, softly this time, “What do we do now?”  
     Margot smirked, and reached out, taking Alana’s hand. Alana’s body tingly wildly as Margot replied, “I think you know.” 

     A few days later, they laid together in Alana’s bed, cuddling as Alana had pictured it in her mind over and over. She held Margot close to her, feeling her body rise and fall with each breath and kissed her head. After her revelation, Alana’s feelings for Margot came to her more easily. Margot was open and Alana felt safe confessing her thoughts. She needed to tell Margot something very important that evening, “Margot…”  
      “…yes?” Margot answered faintly.  
      “I wanted to tell you that I will help you kill Mason.”  
      Margot’s eyes grew wide at Alana’s words and she lifted her head, “You would?”  
      “Yes… I know you said you didn’t need help, but I will offer it if the time is appropriate.”  
      Margot remained still for a moment before she rested her head back on her pillow and closed her eyes, “Thank you…” was her last reply before silence consumed them and dragged them into an easy sleep.


End file.
